Are you ever prepared?

Ever since my miscarriage, I have been on a personal quest to find out anything and everything about reproduction, why the miscarriage happened, what could be done to prevent another one from occurring (the answer is not much) and other general health related and reproduction questions.

What I learned is that there is a wealth of knowledge out there on a variety of topics related to reproduction and having children. So, off I went to the book store where I have purchased (or friends have been nice enough to loan me) What to Expect When You Are Expecting; Your Pregnancy, Week by Week; Your Baby's First Year; Becoming Babywise; and Happiest Baby on the Block, among many others.

Obviously I read What to Expect When You're Expecting and Your Pregnancy Week by Week as it corresponds with my pregnancy. But recently I've begun to read more parenting style books such as Becoming Babywise and Happiest Baby on the Block. In fact, Chris has even gotten into the spirit and is about to read- New Father- A Guide to the First Year.

But this brings me to a question- how prepared can you actually be? I can read and read and read until I'm blue in the face. I can read about different parenting methods, I can read about putting your baby on a schedule or how to sooth her, or how to swaddle and diaper. I can read about developmental progress and expected milestones. But right now, these are all just words to me. All words and no action. Am I going to be prepared if I read these books, or am I to read them only to find that the words get lost in the mix, shuffle and probably a little chaos of having a newborn?

You go through life in a constant learning cycle. You are taught at a very young age, if you want to know more about a topic, pick up a book and read about it, learn about it, soak it up into your mind until you are able to master whatever knowledge you are seeking. At least that's what my parents encouraged me to do- sustain self sufficiency and learn about it. But how much can reading about an abstract thought and theory help you when your practice is another 92 days away (my due date is only 92 days away, I can't believe it!)?

Chris and I must have been cut from somewhat overlapping cloths. While Chris is very laid back, and I, not so much, we both have a constant thirst to know more, to figure out more, to become very proficient in whatever knowledge we are seeking. I think you feel less stressed the more prepared you are, or at least I do. I know whenever a big test rolled around or an important project is due at work, the more I've prepared, the better I feel. Will having a family yield those same feelings. By that I mean, the more I read, the better prepared I'll be, the more successful I'll be as a parent? Or is it really just Baptism by Fire, trial and error, feeling it out as you go along, after all like my momma says, babies don't come with instruction manuals. And if they do, please let me be first in line to grab my very own copy.

Take for instance the book Becoming Babywise- which I'm almost finished reading. The basic premise is placing your baby on a schedule. This schedule has some built in flexibility, but the book promises if you are able to achieve the feed, wake, sleep routine throughout the day, your child will be sleeping through the night by 8 weeks. I know several parents who have used this method and it's worked for them. I think my sister (the ob/gyn) recommended this book and she used it with her children). And if I'm not mistaken, my cousin did too, and her children were sleeping through the night earlier than 8 weeks. Then again there are friends of mine here in DC who read the book, hated the method and say it doesn't work at all. (This book is highly controversial and there are so many varying degrees of support and opposition for this book.) So are these different methods a one size fits all or do you pick and choose from the different methods- what works for you?

And how hard is it to place a newborn on that rigid of a schedule. I know when a good friend of mine had her baby, the baby would fall asleep during feedings, which violates the feed, wake, sleep routine. Is a schedule as easy as the book makes it out to be or is it one constant struggle?

At any rate, learning as much as I can about the changes, both BIG and small, that are about to occur in our lives at the very least, makes me feel more prepared. And doesn't that count for something? Does feeling prepared help you become a better parent, or are you going to be as nervous and scared as everyone else? Whatever happens in 92 days from now, I'm sure Chris and I will be just feeling it through, taking it day by day, perhaps armed with some knowledge, perhaps not. But knowing that we are first time parents and seeing Muppet for the first time, well it just can't get any better than that. 92 more days until our practice comes!