After a rocky year of starts and stops, beginnings and endings, happiness and sadness, 2009 has begun with quite a bang. And boy, can I tell you how happy Chris and I are, and how truly blessed we feel?
In early July of 2008, we found out, through roughly 5 home pregnancy tests, we were expecting. I waited 3 full days to tell Chris so I could make extra sure, just one more positive pregnancy test please! When I finally figured out, it was in fact, true, I promptly went out and purchased a blue onesie for Chris that said "In my little world, bald is in." I thought how appropriate. I also wrote him a poem about how much I loved him, how much he meant to me and how he was going to be a daddy in March of 2009. It was one of the most magical moments I have ever experienced in my life, except for my wedding day, standing at the alter promising to love and cherish my best friend, my biggest cheerleader, and the love of my life, for my entire life. It really doesn't get any better than that.
Anyway, the gift was wrapped, the poem was written and I had instructions for Chris to read them out loud, fearful he wouldn't understand. Tears in my eyes, I waited anxiously for those last words of "and in March of 2009, you're going to be a daddy too." What was it someone said about Famous last words? Those came up to bite and pretty hard too.
I remember the day like it was yesterday, July 29th, I woke up with the worst pain I have ever experienced in my life. I doubled over in pain, praying that my intuition wasn't correct. But, that wasn't meant to be. Didn't anyone ever tell you. . women's intuition is always right?
Chris rushed me to the ER, thankfully before DC rush hour, where our worst fears were confirmed. We had a miscarriage. Our little peanut wasn't meant to be.
Buckets of tears, screams, sobs and emotional outbursts came flowing out. For weeks the sadness was overwhelming. There were good hours and bad hours, good days and bad, but I had to put one foot in front of the other and just keep walking. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of that baby and hope that he/she is up in Heaven hanging out with all of our loves ones who have preceded us.
Sometimes, a change of pace, getting out town can help so much in the healing process. In late August, we took our annual vacation. We went to Mexico. We had the most wonderful time, the resort was amazing, the food fantastic, the beach beautiful, my mood buoyant, and my marriage right on track. I'll post some pictures. This resort was one of the best I've ever been to and it merits a return trip.
September and October passed uneventfully for us, which at that point, was a blessing. November, however, was not to be the same. Remember, women and their intuition? Well, I had it and in a big way. I drove myself to CVS where I purchased 2 boxes of home pregnancy tests- need a positive one please. And low and behold, God answered our prayers with a big, fat positive. Chris had just walked out of the house and down to the car when I called him and told him it was an emergency he needed to return right away. Instead of cute little onesies and cleverly crafted poems, all he got was a positive pee stick shoved in his face. It was a glorious day. Because it was so glorious, I decided to test the next day and the next, you know just to make sure, just doing my due diligence.
So here we are, after a year of ups and downs, positives and negatives, elation and depression, living our lives with a baby on the way. It doesn't get any better than this.
