Ummm, where did my feet go?

Have you seen them? I have looked all around for them and I can't find them. Seriously, I was getting ready to go out on Saturday, putting on my makeup, and looked down to see how bad of shape my tooties were in (Chris and I were going to the Melting Pot for our delayed anniversary dinner, and I wanted to be sure to have pretty feet) and my feet were nowhere to be found. When did I lose my feet? Where ever could they be?

As if that wasn't enough (losing sight of one's feet can be an extremely traumatic feeling) painting them (after I found them -that is-) proved to be even more difficult. You see, I can't just bend over anymore to paint them- I painfully realized that AFTER THE FACT. Instead, I had to sit down on the floor, twist myself into a pretzel, stick my leg out to the side, just to get sight of my feet and what transpired after that- the people in the nail industry would be HORRIFIED to learn.

I tried to paint my toenails, I truly did. I had this beautiful pink color (since I was wearing a pink dress) to put on my tootsies (OPI- It's all Greek to me- I highly recommend it) all ready to go. I was ready to paint my toenails, but it wasn't just the nail that got the paint, but really more of the whole toe. It looked like I asked a preschooler to paint my toenails. In fact, I think the preschooler might have done a better job staying in the lines. I had pink nail polish from one end of my feet to the other. I had it on top of my feet, on the bottom of my feet (how I managed that, I'll never know) and on the sides of my toes. If you would have looked down at my feet, it would have looked like I had GIGANTIC toes because of the polish on the sides of my toes. It was even so bad that at one point, I just had to laugh. Because I knew that no matter how bad they looked, no matter how much I painted my toes, I was going out looking exactly like that. I couldn't twist myself anymore to get the paint off of my toes, and frankly that was just too much effort.

I think the moral of this story, is why do your toenails yourself? I mean really- it's quite easier to put one foot in front of the other and walk or drive yourself to the local nail salon and let someone else paint your toenails. I know for a fact, my toes would have looked much better if I had, they don't have to contort their bodies to reach your toes. And I would have probably saved half of my bottle of paint. As it is, I have cute little pink paint splatters in my bedroom, bathroom and everywhere else I trod that night. It's even in my shoes- oops, guess I put on my shoes too early.

So to add to the pregnancy related symptoms- put me squarely in the I can't see my feet column. While my belly is getting bigger and making it harder for everyday functions, I can't wait to meet our precious Muppet. It really doesn't get any better than that.